Author’s Ramblings: Had another one of these “snippet” moments and figured I’d go ahead and post it. btw, congrats to all who finished NaNo-this was the last day and you did it! Awesome-ness!
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| by artist Jody Uttal. Her work is beautiful! |
Sometimes it hurts to breathe. To watch you see, with eyes that I cannot know. To look beyond the whitened blue and see a fairytale on clouds brand-new. I do not have to understand, I just want to hold your hand.
To walk beside you—where the dreams play. I will stand by you as the morning fades to grey. I will walk with you while night turns into day. I want to be your shadow, I want to be your echo, but somewhere in the midst of it, I just want to be you.
Sometimes it hurts to breathe, when I know that you are me. I see myself in every expression that dances across your face. I want to hold a hand that is somewhere in the future. I want to understand, the real life-sized picture.
You are myself in a moonlit dream. You are the fairy that I’ve been. You are spirited away on the fields of my imagination, nestled in the dreams of definition. I know you feel my own heartache, I know I’ve watched your own heart break. Yet somehow in the absence of this light, you are reaching, stretching upwards, to touch a light of golden glass. You are more than I scrape together the courage to free.
When it hurts to breathe, I live, because the pain is true to me. When I see your smile I laugh, because I know it is for real. Somewhere in the past I’ve changed, somewhere in the future I begin again. In this present gift of now, I want to know you. I want to draw on that strength I cannot yet know.
It is a fresh breath of an autumnal spring, a rainy day of pleasant things. I know I am asleep, I know I am awake. I know somewhere there is no mistake, in this dream I am living, this dream I am seeing, someone is waiting for me.
From the darkest part of my despairing heart, I know there is a rainbow. It is in greyscale and the colors are afraid to show their names. I see their shadows on the wall. I know can hear their whispered call. If I step away from the empty place, will I find a future full of grace?
This is a beautiful dream. I do not know what it could mean. I know it is a special gift, to treasure and uplift. I do not have to understand. I do not have to make it mine. I just have to walk beside, the One who’s holding me.
In the palm of His big hand, I am strong enough to stand. In the warmth of His great smile, I know that I can breathe. I can feel Him fill this need, His strength will now succeed. As I watch you run before me, I know I am running too, because somewhere in this mystery. I know that I am you.
© Sara Harricharan