I’m afraid to fail.

There. I said it. Too late to take it back now. I’m downright terrified of failing. What if I flop? What if I completely screw everything up? What if I muck it up so badly that there’s no hope of—oh wait, I’m not talking about myself here, I’m talking about my writing. Right.

Writing, which is my dream, my hope and the one thing that puts a ridiculous smile on my face even on a dreary Monday morning.

But still–I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid to really unleash my crazy imagination, to put into words the worlds in my head and share the craziness that makes my ordinary life extraordinary. To really write the stories that I want to read–the stories that are needed. I’m scared. I’m terrified. I don’t want to be rejected.

And I’m also procrastinating. Because if I have a reason–any reason at all–be it a legitimate feeling or just those cliche butterflies in my stomach and I can talk myself out of taking that big, nerve-wracking risk, I’ll take it. I’ll stay in my corner with comfy pj’s, a monster-sized cup of tea and a thick, fat notebook, mumbling about how I could’ve been.

That’s a pretty sad picture. So when I found this quote, I turned it into my desktop background, so I’d see it on a daily basis and remember to be brave.

B-but what if I fail? Oh, my darling, but what if you fly?

Am I writing scared? Yep. Probably always will be. Probably will still manage to talk myself down–and back up to where I need to be. Yes, I can bellyflop straight into a pile of misery, novice mistakes and worse. But I can also keep on writing and working on improving that writing. Because if I don’t fail–I guess I’m flying, because my feet aren’t on the ground.

This is my first post for the the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. It is an online community where writers can share their encouragement or insecurities on the first Wednesday of every month. To join the group or find out more, please click here and check it out!

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